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First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

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Written by Northe   
Thursday, 27 October 2005 00:00
First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

Just when you thought all hope was lost, Male Boss finally comes forth with a tale worth telling.  To put it lightly, Male Boss is a snacker.  He likes to snack on just about anything, chips, cookies, pretzels, nuts, candies.. you name it.  His treasure trove of goodies is usually changing hiding spots so it is hard for me to keep up with the stash and actually partake in the glory of it all.

For the last week or so, Male Boss has been really tearing through those jet puffed cheese flavored things.  Not crunchy Cheeto's, but the puffy ones that looking like packing peanuts except orange.  They're probably just as healthy but made from edible material instead.  Male Boss has been wrecking those.. probably a bag or a bag and a half a day.  Its rather disturbing to see him with what looks like a teenager's orange lip gloss on and orange tipped fingers to match.  Not to mention how greasy things he handles are becoming.  Who knew paper would turn see-through after just the right amount of grease is sloshed onto it.

Here's the meat of it all.  Female Boss finds some dog treats in the shape of animal crackers that are jet puffed cheese treats at the pet store!  I think we all know where this is going but there is always something more than just the obvious in the world of Angry Time.  So cutting down on worthless details, Male Boss has at the large bag of cheese puff treats that has a dog's picture on the front.  Certainly no amount of photos, warnings or detailed words are never enough to deter a man from his prey.

During the episode, Female Boss is out of the office and I still am yet to notice what Male Boss has gotten himself into.  I just hear him doing his usual snacking.  No big deal.  He finishes the bag and comes into the office to do some work.  Female Boss finally comes back.. about an hour before I leave.  Male Boss starts his pissed off rant on Female Boss bcuz for the past two hours he was trying to call her on her cell phone and she never answered the call.

"Why in the fucks did you not pick up the phone?" asks Male Boss.

"My phone never rang, what's your problem?" she counters.

"Well, I am out of my cheese puffs and I wanted the specific kind again."

"The same kind I always get you?  You know, the store brand cuz you're so cheap?"

"No, not that's one.  The new one.  The specific kind.  The animal."

"What the hell are you talking about the animal?"

"This one, has the dog on the bag.  You just got it for me yesterday."

"Oh my god, you dumbfuck!  Those aren't yours!"

"Well how the hell do I know, I am the only one that eats the crap.  You want me to buy you another bag for you to eat?"

Female Boss has lost it.  She is in the kitchen cracking up at the realization that Male Boss has no clue what he just ate.  Eventually she catches her breath.

"You like those more than the old ones?" she asks.

"Well, they are kind of different but its a change, they are not bad.. maybe not as much cheese but still good.  I like how they are crunchier too.  Like the stale tastes good."

"You fucking idiot," she laughs.  "Those are for the dogs!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Those are dog treats you fool!  That's why there is a picture of a dog on it!  That's why they are shaped like animals and thats why," Female Boss grabs the bag from the trash, walks up to him pointing at the words in bold type and says, "it says DOG TREATS!"

"And how the fuck should I know?"

Hmm.. lemme think.. No clue Male Boss, no clue.