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First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

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Blogger Profile: The name's Northe.
Been blogging since: September 2004.
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Written by Northe   
Wednesday, 16 November 2005 00:00

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

I was pretty excited coming into work today.  Yesterday, rumor had it that Male Boss was going to be cooking up some classic dishes from the mother country today for lunch.  This excites me cuz as nutty as it sounds, Male Boss can throw down in the kitchen.  The guy makes some fucked up shit you can't pronounce and you would never think of as putting together as a meal but hot damn if it isn't tasty bird.  I mooch off them nonstop and a change of pace is welcome thing when it comes to lunchtime.

My hopes were dashed about one hour after I arrived at the office.  Male Boss had an urgent meeting to attend to and would be gone the majority of the day.  Such is life, looks like the basic will do.  Then, a ray of light is sent through the clouds.  Female Boss steps up to the plate and says she'll cook something in his stead.  Eh, I'll take it.  She has grilled up some stuff on her little hibachi grill out back before and it wasn't bad at all.  Its pretty hard to fuck things up when you just throw meat on fire.  Things are looking up.

Female Boss takes off an hour later to hit up the local grocery store, I get a chance to fuck around on the internet while getting paid and I am looking forward to a hearty meal.  Female Boss comes back, starts cooking up a bunch of stuff.  She tells me what she is making.  Pretty basic but, hell, who cares?  Grilled pork chops, some veggies and some lime concoction she likes to dip her pork chops in.  Sounds fantastic.

Just when everything was coming together, Female Boss puts on a masterful display of intelligence.

"Ah fuck, these aren't limes."

What a daisy.  Surely this couldn't be, as most children know the difference between the numerous citrus fruits we have in our grocery stores nowadays.  Then came the back story on it all.

"While I was in the store looking for the limes I came across these huge ones.  They were the biggest limes I had ever seen.  It was just so silly because they were marked as oranges but look, Northe.  They are as green as can be."

"But they were marked as oranges?" I ask.

"Yeah, they had them in the orange section.  I thought they made an error on the signs."

"You didn't squeeze em a bit and smell em to double check?" I probe further.

"Noooo," she says completely insulted by my question.  "Why would I?"  Then trailing off, "Damn it, I can't believe they aren't fucking limes."

So, for future reference, items marked are definitely not what the sign says, just ask Female Boss.