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Home Angry Time Stories There and Fat Again, a Pigfoot's Holiday.
There and Fat Again, a Pigfoot's Holiday. PDF Print E-mail
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Written by Northe   
Thursday, 05 January 2006 00:00

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

This one is a long time coming.  This is the first time-sensitive experiment within in the realm of Angry Time.  It was probably a lot more fun for me than the majority of you will find funny, entertaining or even interesting; however, since I have won your hearts you will read this anyway.  I thank you.

A little background on this experiment was that last year, the start of last winter to be more accurate.  Our pal Pigfoot had a bit of a weight problem.  The vet had pointed out to Male Boss that he needs to put him on a specific dietary kibble to thin him out.  Male Boss took this very seriously and won over Female Boss in participating in the fight against canine obesity.  He ended up losing the weight and went back to being a very fit dog.  Toleration of such a tragedy was not an option.

This winter, after brain storming with a fellow Angry Timer known as Gatsulu or just plain Sulu, we come up with a plan.  We decided that this year would be the fattening of Pigfoot under the nose both Bosses and it would be a long term effort.

Date of Idea: 21st of October
Game Plan:  Excessive amounts of dog treats and extra meals
Experiment Window:  Ideally until the 1st of January
Measure of Success:  Girth, in inches, of Pigfoot's waist
Secondary Goal:  Perform under complete secrecy

Game on:

Date of First Measurement: 24th of October
Girth: 9 1/4 inches
Primary Source of "New" Diet: Any dog treat available

Random Facts:

Most Treats: 17 treats in 10 minutes
Runner up: 14 in 11 minutes
Most Consecutive Days of Treats: 8 work days
Days Treats Were Consumed: 31 of 46 possibe days


Date of Final Measurement: 4th of January
Girth: 11 3/8 inches
Result:  Success!

The success was not only that over two inches were added to Pigfoot's waist but that it was done so slowly that neither Boss really noticed until the last few weeks of the year.  In fact, with the extra storage of fat, Pigfoot was more active unlike last year when he was akin to Jabba the Hutt in physical activity.  There were two bonuses that I would have never foreseen in this experiment.  First, was this story about Pigfoot and how the added fat infected his thought process.  Second, and definitely the most remarkable, is that I could have very well made Pigfoot fatter than last year!  

I noticed this when one morning I came in and went out back to go play with the dogs.  Pigfoot came up to me knowing that I would have a few treats in my hand, when he looked up into my eyes I noticed a roll of fat the size of a pecan log on the back of his neck.  Holy crap!  I hadn't noticed this ever before.  Unfortunately it was toward the end of the experiment that it really bulged when he would look up.  Nevertheless, it formed and it is glorious.  The bad news is that Male Boss wants to get Pigfoot back on the dietary food.  I will not interfere, my job is done and it was awesome seeing Pigfoot morph into a festively plump Christmas Time companion.  I win.