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First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

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Blogger Profile: The name's Northe.
Been blogging since: September 2004.
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Written by Northe   
Tuesday, 24 January 2006 00:00

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

"Hey, Female Boss, where the fucks the itinerary for The Professional?  I put it here on the desk and the thing's gone now.  You fucking moved it.  Where is it!?"

"Hey, Female Boss, the fucking charts for Client, where are them?  You take them and move them again?  Stop fucking touching zis things!"

"Hey, Female Boss, you rearrange the billing cabinet?  Fuck, why you keep changing the organization of things?  You're killing me!"

That's right guys.  We have a problem in the office when it comes to keeping things consistent.  I am really not one to relate, I would imagine that most guys aren't really able to relate to this either.  I mean, I don't think I have ever re-arranged a room that I lived in my whole life (pending a new piece of furniture or something significant of course).  Once its set up its set up.  Changing the look of the room for the sake of doing it tho, I'll leave that to the goons on Trading Spaces.

Male Boss, much like myself, really despises the weekly and sometimes bi-weekly "work flow changes" that Female Boss makes during her bouts of ADD or, as most everyone else would recognize it as, avoiding work.  Its not just functional stuff either, she throws things away that she admits to herself she has no clue what they're for.  Of course these are the times that Male Boss gets the opportunity to sift through the garbage.

Male Boss had a talk with me right after New Year's about trying to get me on his side and when Female Boss goes on one of her rearranging streaks that I should say something.  I give him a wink and a nod to let him know trusty Northe is always there for the team.  So last week when Female Boss stepped into the office with hands on her hips with a cocked head - typical female dissatisfied with what she is seeing look - I sat at my computer and watched her turn the office upside without a peep.  Hey, just bcuz I am part of the Angry Time team doesn't make me a liar.

Male Boss gets back into the office, luckily she was on an appointment by the time he got back.  I tell him that while I was on lunch break she must've made some changes.  Male Boss is furious.  This time, rather than something that was easily replaced by printing it out, Female Boss threw away some tax forms of his.  Male Boss has had it.  So he starts doing his own version of feng shui on the office.  And by feng shui I mean taking anything with her name on it and throwing it into a garbage bag.  Shortly thereafter, Male Boss is spent and leaves for the day.  He turns to me and says goodbye without any regret or really any acknowledgment that he just spent the last half hour in a chaotic frenzy.  I just sat back chronicling the situation, no problem.

"Have a goodnight, Male Boss."

The next morning Female Boss gets into the office around 11ish, as usual.. work starting of course at around 8 to 8:30.  Male Boss still hasn't come in.  The trash bag with all her shit in it is in the corner.  I make no attempts to direct her attention to it while she is browsing paperwork obviously looking for something specific.  Then the revelation, the lesson that Male Boss had been trying to communicate to her since I started working here finally sets in:

"I guess I better quit moving things around cuz I can't find anything either."

It wasn't for another day that Male Boss revealed the garbage bag to her.  Sure it was in plain sight and sure I coulda told her, but sometimes comeuppence is a bitch.  I think Male Boss needed to really nail the point home.  The question is if its actually gonna stick.  If I know better it definitely won't and I look forward to writing another diddy about this type of scenario.