First Timers

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

Who shived you in the neck?

Blogger Profile: The name's Northe.
Been blogging since: September 2004.
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Written by Northe   
Wednesday, 15 March 2006 00:00

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories. 

God damn, things never cease to amaze me here.  Even as the stack of stories to write piles high upon my computer desk at home I always have something happen that just boosts up to the top of the priority list.. especially while its still fresh in my head.  You'll pardon the pun once you finish the story I'm sure.

The scene starts out early morning.  I get into work.  No one is here yet.  Shocker... I notice that perhaps Female Boss was here before me for once.  There's a pot of coffee going and as I walk by the kitchen I see that two of the three dogs are already at the office.  The two being Pigfoot and Puppy.  The One is apparently with her though.. it wouldn't be out of the ordinary, for a fleeting moment, to wish a more ill fate upon the poor guy.  After some careful consideration I figure that his fate is already pretty pathetic having to be latched to Female Boss permanently.

I wonder where the hell she could be.  Its not likely she beat me to the office but I guess she had to have.  Eh, Screw it, I'm here in the office and .. what the hell?  Holy shit.  As the dogs are barking at me as if I am a stranger I catch glimpse of a heap.. nay, a mound of feces that would make an elephant blush.  I dunno how long these canines have been locked up for but it could very well have been a month.  I am not kidding.  I am talking at least two dozen individual logs.  Fresh though, not the blackened or ash white aged kind.  Raw dawg.  The type of shit that if its outdoors you'd be seeing that steam rising up off it like a stack of flapjacks.

How's that for a lunchtime topic?  The dearth of Angry Times are over.  I'll get some drafts written for you guys tonight, hopefully as repulsive as this one.  You ask, I deliver.  Take it easy.