First Timers

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

Who shived you in the neck?

Blogger Profile: The name's Northe.
Been blogging since: September 2004.
View my complete profile here.

Home Angry Time Stories The Yolk's On You
The Yolk's On You PDF Print E-mail
User Rating: / 0
PoorBest 
Written by Northe   
Wednesday, 19 July 2006 00:00

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories. While you're at it, go ahead and Register, approval grants access to exclusive content.

This is another random thought post.  I will see if I can't get around to posting some work related shit here again.  Seriously.  I just don't find myself having the time to do it.  Whatever, like I have a huge audience anyway.  Suck it up.

My friend is real frikkin sick right now.  Chances are its a bronchial infection or some shit.  I feel sorry for the guy.  It sounds like its painful as hell and thankfully I haven't had much experience with anything like that in at least a decade.  Though I do know I hate that shit.  Its gotta be worse than having the flu.  Cuz you basically feel fine but whenever you cough it feels like someone is jamming a shiv into the reverse side of your sternum.

That's not the worst part.  The worst part is the mucus.. the phlegm.  The nastiest shit in the world that somehow your body is manufacturing for you to hock up, force out of your mouth with a great deal of provocation and then watch as it makes a gooey line into whatever you're spitting it into.  I mean that's some insane shit.  What the hell is that?  You can literally stand atop a bridge and make like a 15 foot long line of phlegm if you really wanted to.. though its gotta be the special brew phlegm.  The raw egg whites kind.. the albumin if you will.

So yeah, anyway this poor guy is hacking up a lung as I speak to him on the phone on my way to work this morning.  Pure suffering.  The real pisser is that I don't think there's anything you can take over the counter that cures this crap.. aside from Vick's vaporub, but that doesn't really solve the problem.  In this guy's darkest hour he pleads to me, "What the hell can I do?"

I answer back without fail, "Open up a diner."  Wouldn't that be an interesting experiment?  I'm gonna tell him to try it out while he's producing that kinda yolk from his lungs.  Fuckin spit into a pan and fry that shit.  See if it looks like eggs.  I bet it does.  It's so fuckin foul, it has to.

 Just thought I'd put this out there while I had a moment at work.  Anyway, time for lunch. Take it easy, fellas.