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Home Angry Time Stories Female Boss Shorts 13
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Written by Northe   
Monday, 16 February 2009 07:16

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories. While you're at it, go ahead and Register, approval grants access to exclusive content.

Since its literally been almost a year since I gave you guys some Female Boss Shorts I will go ahead and throw in a bonus 4th Scenario.

Scenario #1:  I can't even recall what the hell Female Boss was doing when she was thinking out loud about this one.  Whatever it was, I guess it would fall under the classification of being mathematical.  It started off like this:

"Ok, so now I can add that number with this one.."

With her constant babbling that she does at regular volume it's easy to tune her out.  Then she had a wrestling match with herself.

"So five and a half.  If I make that into a decimal.  Five point.. five.. point.. five point.  Okay, five and a half is five poooiiint.. five point five?  No..  Five point.. five?  No.  Right?  Five point.  Hell, I don't remember."

I never gave her an answer or helped her out as she never asked me.  Knowledge never comes easy.  Even if most children know the answer.


Scenario #2:  In further attempts to treat her dogs like royalty, Female Boss went out and bought some new goods for them.  One thing you must understand about Female Boss' buying/spending habits, especially when it comes to her dogs, is that she spares no expense.  She will buy collars and leashes that run upwards of $100.00 per item.  Then, what frustrates me more than anything, like Male Boss, she will treat the over-priced and expensive item like she bought it at the thrift store.  The amount of care that will be put into the investment is absolutely next to zero, exemplified by this statement a few weeks back:

With complete shock on her breath, "Pigfoot!  *Gasp!*  Northe, I just gave Pigfoot a nice down comforter, that I bought over the weekend, to sleep on and he just pee'd all over it!"

Here's a heads up for the infantile minds among us:  Male Dogs tend to mark new items.  Marking is achieved by peeing.  If your dog is not classically trained, it will mark most anything you place on the ground in front of him within its own territory.  Oh, and as she is collecting the damp comforter off the ground she threw in:

"What was I thinking?"


Scenario #3:  Female Boss was talking to a Roman on the phone (read as: gossiping about complete nonsense).  As the conversation evolved from gossip to more specialized topics Female Boss really flexes her brain muscle.

"He is?  Are you sure?  I thought he was Milano, you know when the father is part black."

Word for word quote.  Go ahead and say the definition of a Milano in your head based on Female Boss' opinion.  I bet there's a lot of people in Italy that are gonna be shocked at the news about their fathers.


Scenario #4:  Female Boss was on the line with her brother, who happens to be in engineering.  There was a playful exchange about something or other and Female Boss wanted to bust his chops.  Her best attempts to do so was the following:

"You know, Brother, for an engineer you aren't very adapt.. or adapt.. or, whatever I am trying to say."

I believe the word is adept.. but what do I know.. you know, considerring, you don't even know what you are trying to say.