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Written by Northe   
Thursday, 01 February 2007 00:00

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Just another day here at the office.  Male Boss and I show up to work on time, Female Boss shows up late.  Male Boss is using Female Boss' desk and computer.  He has not removed himself from her seat since he got in.  As of late, I have been showing up about 10-15 min before anyone else.. so since coming in, Male Boss plopped himself down at her desk and started working.

Male Boss notices Female Boss come into the office, "Oh, sorry.  You have some stuff on this computer I don't have on my memory."

Whatever the hell that means appeases Female Boss and she politely asks him to get up as soon as possible so she can get to work.  Male Boss stays at the desk for a handful of minutes longer and gets up.  Female Boss moves in on her territory.

"What the hell is that?"  I can hear her sniffing the air like a water buffalo trying to catch the fresh scent of a water plant on the wind.

"What the hell is that?" she says again.  "Is that you, Male Boss?"

"I do not," replies Male Boss.

"You do not what?  You do not make my chair and desk smell like shit?"

"Female Boss, I do not.  Cut it out."

"Let's make a new rule, you don't sit at my desk anymore unless you've showered this week."

"Shut the fuck up!  Cut it out!"

The phone rings.  I have to grab it.  Male Boss leaves the office, Female Boss leaves after him.  The phone call is quick but I keep the phone up to my ear and feign conversation while I listen to her dig into him under her breath from the other room.

"You really stink, you're lucky Northe is too polite to say anything."

Honestly, I couldn't smell the guy but he musta done quite a number on that side of the office.  Female Boss came in with a blanket and draped it over her chair.  After that, Female Boss brought in a little air freshener doodad she uses in her car and spritzes the surrounding area.  What the fuck does "Egyptian Cotton" smell like anyway and how the fuck would anyone know if the scent is wrong!?

So take note.  Male Boss smells.