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Home Angry Time Stories Chakhtee: The Downward Spiral
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Written by Northe   
Tuesday, 10 March 2009 08:21

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories. While you're at it, go ahead and Register, approval grants access to exclusive content.

The problem with taking off the majority of last year is both a tale of happiness and none of your god damn business.  The effect on Angry Time and the loyal following is that when real life caught up is that I not only shed the habit of writing, at least fairly often, is that I haven't been able to chronicle a lot of things that I wish I would have as they have developed into major story lines for the blog and will now have to going through literally about 100 stories that have been jotted down and piecing together the relevant happenings that lead us down the trail of land mines and razor wire until we arrive at the feculent corpse that I wish to show you all.  So hang tight, we will get there eventually, but first, how some things were revealed to me while at the office.

Do you know my friend, Chakhtee?  Aside from the typical rags you can gag this character with.. like dumb and worthless.. I ask that you cease painting your demeaning portrait and look at him through my eyes.  Indeed, friends, ol' Chakhtee!  Someone of promise, someone with great work ethic.. yes, someone that with the right opportunity could become something great.  The clean slate that all of us wish we could have is falling upon the lap of Chakhtee and life is his for the taking!  So mount your fjord and ride with me!

With fewer and fewer things to do around the house Male Boss is unable to give him the odd jobs that are essentially charity and as shocking as it may be, Chakhtee is unable to successfully market his skills in order to land himself a job.  The biggest detriment to Chakhtee scoring that big office job that overlooks downtown is that bitch called Competition.  Totally unfair..

Before I go into a rant about how Chakhtee deserves to be somewhere in the public eye, I'll just skip ahead to an actual job offer that Chakhtee, more likely than not, stumbled into.  He came to the office one morning with a great big grin on his worn, saddlebag of a face and started to share some news.  Might I point out that he is boasting that we are the first people he tells this too, which makes the situation all that more depressing.

"I think I am going to get a new job at Bar," he says excitedly.

Female Boss starts to beam and you can tell was ready to pay him a compliment when Male Boss beats her to the punch.

"You?  A job?  At an actual company?" starts Male Boss.

"Yes!  They want me to work as a bar tender during the weekdays."

Male Boss starts laughing uncontrollably.  Female Boss says that it sounds great.  After Chakhtee left she actually added, "At least he'll stop coming around here," to her sentiments but we aren't there yet.

So instead of actually showing Chakhtee a little happiness Male Boss keeps going, "There's no way zis people are going to hire you at the bar.  No way."

Chakhtee insists that it's true.

"You're gonna lose the job the same day," says Male Boss laughing and pretending to drink alcohol.

Chakhtee starts joining in with his jokes, "I'll only sneak it when they aren't looking.  Vodka can look just like water."

Male Boss and Chakhtee starts making joke after joke about how Chakhtee has slowly turned into an alcoholic over the last year since he has been unable to find work.  The staggering part is how hard they are laughing at it and responsibility literally seems to be on the back burner when it comes to this idiot's new job.  Male Boss talks about going in for free drinks, Chakhtee obliges and says he could just sell him bottles that he will steal!  At this point I have slinked back into my personal protection bubble listening to Chakhtee belittle himself for the better part of an hour while Male Boss yucks it up.

Once he is kicked out by an infuriated Female Boss, she is sure to let Male Boss know how "not funny" that whole scene was.  Whether or not it was funny is irrelevant.  The reality of the situation is that Male Boss was not far off at all.  It took Chakhtee two days to get fired, not the first.. I guess he deserves a bit of credit for that.  Secondly, Chakhtee earned the nickname "Chespiritu" with the back of the house (read as: kitchen staff).  I have no clue what it means and looking at the picture I can see the faint resemblance but I guess it also has to do with his level of intelligence as I can imagine the humor spewed from that guy's gullet probably ranks up there with a Mexican Mr. Bean.  Lastly, I guess the reason for the whole firing business had to do with the fact that he has probably never served a drink in his life and probably couldn't put together a rum and coke without checking the recipe list.. thrice.  Glad to know that no one in the workforce in the immediate metropolitan area beat Chakhtee out for the job, and even better still, its pretty calming to know that the owner that hired him is as successful as he is yet doesn't have the smarts to figure something as basic as this out before readying his check book to give this man a paying job.  The downward spiral goes on.