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Written by Northe   
Wednesday, 14 February 2007 00:00

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories. While you're at it, go ahead and Register, approval grants access to exclusive content. 

Sole Scenario:  Technical problems in the office.  Seems like Female Boss' computer took a dump and they're gonna have to share the computer.  At first, things seem to be going just fine.. and by "at first" I simply mean the realization of these two land-bound gibbons that they are going to have to work under each others' noses the whole day if they want to get anything done.  From there on out, the formulaic chaos ensued.

Notable Highlights:

*Preparing to switch from Female Boss at the computer to Male Boss:

Male Boss: "Can you save your work?"
Female Boss: "Can you shut your mouth?"

*Female Boss' request to use the computer:

Female Boss: "Can I get on there and check this work file?"
Male Boss: "I don't think its going to cost you the penny."
Several minutes later, Male Boss still at the computer.
Female Boss: "Are you done yet?  Let me check that work file."
Male Boss: "No problem."
Another handful of minutes drop off the clock.
Female Boss: "Okay, let me get on there!"
Male Boss: "Fuck you, I need it."

*The printer has run out of paper.

Male Boss: "Looks like it says we might have the paper jam."
Female Boss: "Hey dumb shit, you need paper in the printer to have a paper jam."
Male Boss: "Then put me some fucking paper!"
Female Boss: "Put yourself."
Male Boss slams a thick slab of paper into the printer.
Male Boss: "Okay ass, what button to press to start?"
Without listening for an answer Male Boss starts pressing buttons on the printer.
The printer chokes on the paper load.
Female Boss: "You didn't do it right!"
Scary noises come from the printer.
Male Boss: "Its too late now, you didn't want to show me help."

Turns out Female Boss' computer locked up.  Since she couldn't power it down using the "Turn Off" button in Windows, her critical thinking process was at a stand still.  All I had to do was lean on the power button for a few seconds to shut it down.  Other solutions could have been: ripping the power cord out of the computer and shutting off the surge.  These solutions will remain unsaid in this office so that there is a slight chance something like this happens in the future.  Regards.