First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories. While you're at it, go ahead and Register, approval grants access to exclusive content.

Since its literally been almost a year since I gave you guys some Female Boss Shorts I will go ahead and throw in a bonus 4th Scenario.

Scenario #1:  I can't even recall what the hell Female Boss was doing when she was thinking out loud about this one.  Whatever it was, I guess it would fall under the classification of being mathematical.  It started off like this:

"Ok, so now I can add that number with this one.."

With her constant babbling that she does at regular volume it's easy to tune her out.  Then she had a wrestling match with herself.

"So five and a half.  If I make that into a decimal.  Five point.. five.. point.. five point.  Okay, five and a half is five poooiiint.. five point five?  No..  Five point.. five?  No.  Right?  Five point.  Hell, I don't remember."

I never gave her an answer or helped her out as she never asked me.  Knowledge never comes easy.  Even if most children know the answer.

Scenario #2:  In further attempts to treat her dogs like royalty, Female Boss went out and bought some new goods for them.  One thing you must understand about Female Boss' buying/spending habits, especially when it comes to her dogs, is that she spares no expense.  She will buy collars and leashes that run upwards of $100.00 per item.  Then, what frustrates me more than anything, like Male Boss, she will treat the over-priced and expensive item like she bought it at the thrift store.  The amount of care that will be put into the investment is absolutely next to zero, exemplified by this statement a few weeks back:

With complete shock on her breath, "Pigfoot!  *Gasp!*  Northe, I just gave Pigfoot a nice down comforter, that I bought over the weekend, to sleep on and he just pee'd all over it!"

Here's a heads up for the infantile minds among us:  Male Dogs tend to mark new items.  Marking is achieved by peeing.  If your dog is not classically trained, it will mark most anything you place on the ground in front of him within its own territory.  Oh, and as she is collecting the damp comforter off the ground she threw in:

"What was I thinking?"

Scenario #3:  Female Boss was talking to a Roman on the phone (read as: gossiping about complete nonsense).  As the conversation evolved from gossip to more specialized topics Female Boss really flexes her brain muscle.

"He is?  Are you sure?  I thought he was Milano, you know when the father is part black."

Word for word quote.  Go ahead and say the definition of a Milano in your head based on Female Boss' opinion.  I bet there's a lot of people in Italy that are gonna be shocked at the news about their fathers.

Scenario #4:  Female Boss was on the line with her brother, who happens to be in engineering.  There was a playful exchange about something or other and Female Boss wanted to bust his chops.  Her best attempts to do so was the following:

"You know, Brother, for an engineer you aren't very adapt.. or adapt.. or, whatever I am trying to say."

I believe the word is adept.. but what do I know.. you know, considerring, you don't even know what you are trying to say.

TrackBack URI for this entry

Comments (8)

Subscribe to this comment's feed

Show/Hide comments

everlastingphelps said:

	I believe the word she was looking for was mulatto... which is not the preferred nomenclature.
	report abuse vote down vote up

February 16, 2009 | url
Votes: +0

Northe said:

	Oh I know. Maybe it came off as confusing as to what I was trying to get the reader to do. I was totally dodging the actual word she was trying to use and went for the Italians born in Milan. Substituting what a Milano is with what her definition was is quite a canyon of difference. No idea where she got "the father being part black" either.
	report abuse vote down vote up

February 16, 2009 | url
Votes: +1

Sulu said:

	I think she meant the cookie. The chocolate filling is damned to be sandwiched until consumed, all due to father cocoa bean.
	report abuse vote down vote up

February 16, 2009
Votes: +0

monster beats studio said:

	Dans le studio et les monster beats studio producteurs des artistes monster beats peinent pour un intervalle de monster beat vraiment très longtemps, afin de beats pro précision et de rendre le son beats studio fait totalement parfait.
	report abuse vote down vote up

March 14, 2012 | url
Votes: +0

Ray Ban Sunglasses said:

So easy.Ray Ban Sunglasses is one Ray Ban Sunglasses of the most popular sunglasses in the world. As time goes on, Ray Ban sunglasses are becoming increasingly popular, and gradually by the fashion jewelry into the essential goods of daily life.Light and airy, the Ray Ban 3217 semi-rimmed sunglasses monel built for men are designed to look and feel weightless. Bausch & Lomb's Ray Ban Aviator unique optical technology, creating the high quality glasses. Now get the best sunglasses quality fashion that suit your mood.

report abuse vote down vote up

March 14, 2012 | url
Votes: +0

cheap designer handbags said:

Cheap designer handbags, head to the door, the BMW off-road car and rang the car horn, and immediately there are three or five young strong men filed out from the porter to open the door for several vehicles patrol the heavy truck entering.Ningguo Hua did not get off, but to a middle-aged man standing in front not far from a flashlight hit hello, that middle-aged man gesturing to cheap designer handbags.cheap designer handbags will be parked in plant near a tower crane at put out the fire.

report abuse vote down vote up

April 06, 2012 | url
Votes: +0

barcelona jersey said:

	http://barcelona-jersey.com/
	report abuse vote down vote up

April 10, 2012 | url
Votes: +0

supra prix said:

La conduite d'une Alfa Romeo, il a gagné la Targa Florio en 1930, en concurrence avec Supra Prix le pilote français Louis Chiron. Au début du dernier tour, mais Achille a été conduit supra shoes prixégalement qu'il a été à court de carburant. Son mécanicien a essayé de faire le plein de la voiture en mouvement Nike Air Force 0ne Pas Cher et une certaine essence déversé sur l'échappement chaud causant flammes à scintiller autour supra prix chaussure de la voiture. Les flammes se sont au cou de Varzi cependant Varzi continué à la conduite Chaussures Nike Air Force One tout en changeant de position pour que son mécanicien pouvait battre les flammes Supra Shoes Prix avec un coussin. Bien que les flammes étaient éteintes, Varzi avait perdu du temps. Il s'emballent son moteur jusqu'à ce que le compteur était passé la ligne de danger et rugit à travers la ligne d'arrivée devant le pilote français.

report abuse vote down vote up

April 12, 2012 | url
Votes: +0

Name

Email

Website

Title

Comment

smaller | bigger

Subscribe via email (Registered users only)

Write the displayed characters

Add Comment