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Home Angry Time Stories "I pushed the fucking phones offs!"
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Written by Northe   
Thursday, 25 August 2005 00:00

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories. 

Male Boss is a guru of technology and by that I mean an idiot savant when it comes to technology. One of the cordless phones located next to Male Boss is humming, indicating that a phone call has been holding for a prolonged period of time. The humming goes on for about 5 minutes going off every 20 secs or so for a good 5 secs at a time. It was getting pretty annoying but it represents how fragile the balance is in the office until the tipping point is reached.

Female Boss, working on another computer with her back to him, turns around and shouts, "Fix your fucking phone you retard, can't you hear that its trying to tell you something's wrong!?"

Game on.

Male Boss ignores her. Female Boss throws a paper clip at the back of his head after hearing it go off a few more times. In his thick Communist accent Male Boss says, "What?  What the fuck you want me to do about the phone!?"

Female boss stares him down and with the sluggish speed of a methodical murderer says, "Turn off your God damn phone!"

Male boss starts mashing the keypad with calculated idiocy. "I pushed the fucking phones offs!"

The "phones" starts to ring, he can't answer it as he has to clear the call on hold first. He hurls the phone full force to the marble flooring smashing it everywhere. At this point my stomach is cramped from holding in laughter.

"What the hell is the matter with you? Your cholesterol is going to your brain," announces Female Boss.

"The phones fucking ranged!" he quips back.

"Demonseed (the bird) can speak better English than you."

Female boss wins and another paragraph is written for the codex of work time history.

Now why didn't I defuse the problem and cancel the held call as it started? The preceding is exactly why.  Love it.