First Timers

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

Who shived you in the neck?

Blogger Profile: The name's Northe.
Been blogging since: September 2004.
View my complete profile here.

Home Angry Time Stories Male Boss-isms
Male Boss-isms PDF Print E-mail
User Rating: / 0
Written by Northe   
Tuesday, 13 September 2005 00:00

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories. 

Yes, indeed.  Just like Female Boss has mutterings.  Male Boss has some classic moments credited to him in the annals of history of the English Language.  Here are a couple of his more popular quotes.

First Scenario:  
Male Boss is in a huge heated argument last Thanksgiving, just after the holiday weekend, with a Client.  They are cussing back and forth non-stop.  Now Male Boss is pretty frikkin savvy when it comes to obliterating someone with bad words.  However, since his opponent is either just as good or it isn't phasing him he decides to embark on the tragic path of using wit to win the argument.

"Fuck you, you are an asshole," yells Male Boss for the 15th time.

Time passes, Male Boss is fuming.

"Oh yeah!  Well it sounds to me like you had too much turkey over the weekend!"

Boom!  He hangs up the phone with a slam.

I start dying laughing.

"I got him pretty good, right?" asks Male Boss looking for praise.

I am laughing so hard I can't even correct him or tell him how stupid that accusation really is.

Second scenario:
Another heated situation.  Male Boss is at his wit's end with a Client that gave him the wrong address to see a different Client.  Male Boss called me about 3 or 4 times while out in the field trying to get me to help him find an address.  After quite some time of failing to find the individual's location, the lady he is looking for calls and tells him to just forget it, she will get around town via other means.  Male Boss is pissed.

Male Boss comes back to the office and makes a bee line to the phone to call the primary Client.

"What the fuck, you gave the wrong address to me and I wasn't finding the lady at where she was at."

I perk up bcuz when its gibberish time, its Angry Time.

Correcting whatever crap Client flung back at, Male Boss responds with, "No, no, you had me fucking up the wrong way.  Then she calls and tells me to go fuck myself."

"The bottom lane (no, I didn't misspell 'line') is that the fucking address was wrong and I had my head cut off by the rooster."

Something tells me that's not the phrase he was fishing for.

Third Scenario:
I am talking to a Client that absolutely adores us.  I have been talking to him on the phone for about 5 minutes just soaking in the praises about how great we are to do business with.  I let Male Boss know that Client is on the line for him.

Now I have heard him say this many times to clients and I never ever correct him cuz its just too hilarious.

Male Boss picks up the phone, "Talk to you!" he says.

A couple seconds of listening, "Yes buddy, talk to you!"

The conversation goes beyond the first awkward moments and they discuss whatever.  Nothing left to report. Now if you don't know what Male Boss is trying to say, when he says "Talk to you" think about it for a second.  Give up? He is trying to do the '80s cool guy phone line of, "Talk to me."